This is the part of you that you don't know yet, and haven't gotten to know yet. The part of you that's real and that holds the essence of you. But it's somewhat 'buried' under what you're going through currently. Or rather, it's actually part of and infused into what you're going through. The part of it that is genuine . Because, no matter what we go through, it always comes from ourselves. It's just been translated through the mind and so we lose sight of our core self and become more overwhelmed by thoughts, feelings and emotions.

So what would be your core self in what you're going through right now? What this color is showing is a sense of 'fearlessness'. A confidence, an assuredness. And that has gotten a little lost. Where, you start doubting yourself and becoming unsure of yourself. That self-assuredness is something you haven't really allowed yourself to live. That real, full trust in yourself. And it's in a way the doubt that's making you feel like 'giving up on life'. Because, within the doubt, you're not allowing yourself to live. So I'd suggest to have a look and investigate your tendency to 'doubt yourself', and how much that is actually holding you back from being yourself. Look at why you feel like you need this doubt and who you are in and as it. Meaning, do some writing to understand the experience of doubt inside yourself, in terms of how you're living it, why you go into it, what memories are attached to it. It will support you with understanding what you're going through and what you may need to change to get back to who you really are. To get back to a trust of yourself and an allowing of yourself to live.

Where is your care for yourself? Your gentleness with yourself and unconditional support of yourself? You cannot be allowing anything inside you that is not those things. Or rather, if there does exist anything within you that compromises those things, then you should be questioning it, knowing this isn't you. 

This is a very 'intense' color. It is the 'expression that actually wants to come out'. The expression that needs to be nurtured instead of the experience you're nurturing right now. Nurture as in give attention to and spend time creating. The expression this color represents is a form of 'intelligence'. An 'embracing intelligence'. Intelligence as in a trust that everything will be alright because everything is you. A knowing that you are everything, you are life, so whatever you're going through right now, you will get through it, you will find a way, you'll find solutions and you'll find your way back to yourself. It is just a matter of time, and giving yourself the proper support. This 'intelligence' is the knowing of who you really are, and that if there is anything that you are stuck in right now, it just means you've lost yourself for a moment. But it's only for a moment. You will realize yourself from this and there will come a moment where everything will become clear and you'll see that none of what you're going through now is actually real.

So you want to get to those points of certainty, of knowing, within you. That you'll make it through this, that at the end of the day you are not defined by anything, and that you are everything so you will find a way through what you're going through. You may not see it right now but there is simply no way that you don't have the ability to get there. 

This is the color of 'lighten up'. Or rather of, things aren't necessarily as bad as you're perceiving them to be right now. Look for the little things that you can enjoy in life. Find the small enjoyments. Maybe it's the first cup of coffee or tea in the morning. Maybe it's just the feel of the air on your skin. Enjoyment in life is something you have to create. You have to choose to enjoy certain things. Choose to, in moments, rather than sitting in your mind thinking, look at what there is in the moment that you can enjoy. Connect with your physical reality. With your physical body and sensations. Enjoyment can be in the simplest things. Just breathing can be a point of enjoyment. It's not some great experience or thing. It needs to be found in what is already here. 

Even if what is here feels like it's all negative and unpleasant. That's just your mind perceiving reality that way. And I know it's hard to see things any differently, and you don't need to. It's just about finding those moments of connecting with your physical body and with physical reality, as moments of finding what you can enjoy about what is here. Cause enjoyment exists in the physical. It does not exist in the mind.

In a way enjoyment also exists in embracing the experience of you. Accepting and embracing what you are going through, because that's your way to get to the physical. If you stop fighting what's going on inside you and just embrace it. Then you can start focusing on your physical body. So have a look at what your experience is exactly. Try to define what you're actually in, so that you can embrace it. Enjoyment is not a moving away from the 'negative' and from what you're really going through. It's something that comes from fully embracing all that is here. Fully embracing all of 'you' and being here with you. Not shying away from or resisting the negative and the unpleasant, and not looking for something positive. But simply being real with what is here. And you'll see that through embracing what is here, the experience won't have such power over you anymore.