This is the color of 'having good intentions within your actions, but not considering your reality all too well, and so doing more damage than good'. Being a little bit caught up in your own world, so that you don't see the ACTUAL consequences of your actions. Finding your own 'inner world' more interesting than, say, getting to know other people and who they are within themselves. So you end up sort of missing the finer details and nuances of what's really going on within your reality. You're sort of 'enamored' with what exists inside of you, in terms of your mind, your thoughts and feelings and just your 'inner reality'. How you see things and experience things. And nothing seems more interesting than that. So you don't really see why you should 'get to know people', or venture outside of your own inner experience to get into others' inner world. 

So, can't really expect yourself to be able to act in ways that are best for everyone, if you're not really interested to find out who people are. So even though your intentions are good, the results aren't really there. Because for 'results', you need that process of investigation and exploration of reality. You need to get to know reality. Can't just expect that your personal experiences are enough to guide you towards the required actions that are going to be best for all. The mind is not actually that 'intelligent'. The mind doesn't know what's best. It only thinks it does lol. You have to actively step beyond and outside of your own perception of reality to see things through the eyes of others and understand reality better.

So maybe, rather than seeing it as 'you having to step outside of your inner world into others'', see it as 'inviting others into yours'. And so more an 'expansion' of that inner world instead of a 'giving up' of it. Where you're just 'adding' other beings as you. Seeing and realizing others as you. And that way you can get out of your 'bubble' yet also remain in it. Then it doesn't feel like you have to give anything up. It's more a 'deepening' of that bubble, by including the rest of the world. And you never know what you may find. People may surprise you. You may find some hidden treasures. 'pearls of wisdom' stored away in other people's inner world. Things that you could benefit from, and that could become part of your inner richness. So give people a chance. Open yourself up. Communicate with them. Find out what you can learn. Cause there is a world of richness out there that you have yet to discover. And the world is waiting for you. For you to be ready to 'pop your bubble' lol.

This is sort of the color of 'hiding'. Hiding something deep. Some sort of hurt. In the same way an animal will hide under the closet or the couch when it's hurt. It's a hiding to take care of the hurt. So it's the good kind of hiding in a way. It's hiding because you know you're the only one who can take care of the hurt at the end of the day. So it's a 'self-honest' hiding. A realization that even if you talked about it with others, and opened up about it, it wouldn't change the fact that it's still your hurt and you're still the one who needs to heal it. So that's why you rather keep it to yourself, and figure out how to deal with it on your own.

People may think you're 'closed', or that you hide for a reason, but that's just cause people aren't very good at taking responsibility or taking care of their own hurt. That's why people talk and talk, yet at the end of the day don't come to solutions. They spend too much time talking and sharing, and not enough really looking and supporting themselves with the things they're going through. So in a way this is something that you're showing people. Like, 'hey, if you're more talking and sharing the things you're going through and not really looking at it and working on it within yourself, then you're not actually supporting yourself. What you do with it inside yourself must always come first.' You're showing that talking isn't real unless you've first looked at, worked on and taken responsibility for the point you're talking about. You're showing what self-responsibility is and means, in this regard. When it comes to communicating and talking and sharing issues and problems and complaints.

So don't let people push or bully you around lol. You know what you're doing and why. People have this thing that they do where they expect others to be as compromised as they are. And they sort of try to drag others into the same pit of misery that they're in. 'Misery likes company', as they say. So they'll tell you that you need to 'talk more' or 'share more', just so they can feel good about themselves, because they're not doing what's best for themselves. So you just need to stand your ground, and trust yourself in what you're doing. Because you know you're supporting yourself and you're just doing what you see is best. And that's all that matters. People will talk, and mostly it's to justify why they're not moving in their lives. Why they're not taking responsibility for the things they're facing.

So it's better to be silent. And only share once you know who you are within what you're sharing. That way people can't manipulate you with their perspectives or opinions because when you've figured something out for yourself, and you've supported yourself, then you know what's real. And no one can convince you otherwise. So honor yourself within this point. It's something that's really cool. Something other people can learn from.

You know how women sometimes have this secret, mystical, 'eternal depth' to them, where it's almost as though they're aware of this secret knowledge or exclusive level of reality, and you kind of know that they know and see things on such a level that you'll never be able to access? And there's no way you'd be able to define it because it just goes beyond your level of comprehension. It's a 'woman thing'. And it's because women throughout history have been so overlooked and disregarded, and so under-appreciated, that they've had to sort of hide who they are and hold themselves back a lot. They've had to make themselves out to seem like less than they are. And so keep a lot of that 'depth' of who they are as 'women' to themselves. They just learned to assume the world doesn't appreciate what they have to offer. So it's a very 'private' thing.

It's been 'laying dorment' inside women for as long as history has been around. And it's something they've also 'given up on'. Even they have decided that it's just impossible to ever express who they really are. So they just don't bother anymore. They don't try anymore. History has them 'beaten down'. All the years and years, and aeons upon aeons of neglect and suppression and disregard, has made women silence that part of themselves forevermore, until it's almost non-existent. Until there's almost no such thing as REAL women anymore. So maybe we should just stop looking for it. Stop holding on to the whole 'feminine design'. I'm serious, because if anything, it's just creating more separation. Women being stuck in this experience that they can't be or express who they really are, because of 'history'. Women being 'slaves' to 'history'. So it's a crazy thought. But let's say us women simply stopped our battle with 'history', and started to 'birth' ourselves here in this moment. Realizing that it's always been 'his-story' anyways. And that in that story, we never had a place. We never really existed to begin with. So might as well stop fighting for our existence and accept that we never did in the first place. If anything, we have a leg up over males, because if you never really existed in the first place, it's easier to just give up on everything and birth yourself anew. 

So looks like this is just a perspective for you to consider. Because some of that 'female struggle' does exist within you and on some level is kind of bothering you. So it's to just assist with transcending that point and be able to let go, and realize it doesn't have to define you. Just because you're a 'female', doesn't mean that you have to be a slave to 'history'. You can just decide to 'give it all up' and decide that none of it applies to you anyways. And that 'who you are' is just your decision to birth yourself in the moment, and that 'history' doesn't exist.