#iftodaywasacolor

 

There's a lot of 'despair' in this color, and hopelessness. And also a bit of 'incredulousness' lol. Incredulous as in looking at this world and reality with your hands in your hair, just kind of shaking your head in disbelief at 'what is going on?!' Not entirely being able to wrap your head around any of the things going on in this world. And more just feeling 'confused'. Feeling like things have gone 'topsy-turvy' and things just don't make sense anymore. Things aren't 'normal' anymore. And the world is continuing as if this is 'normal'. The 'new normal', supposedly. But even though you try to also pretend as if 'this is normal', you're still not actually sure what to make of all of it. There's just something inside of you that's constantly going "This is NOT normal!" And you don't know how to just 'accept' this 'new normal', cause there is just a friction inside you. Because you don't WANT this 'new normal'. You just cannot accept it. And so there is this experience of despair and hopelessness forming inside you. Like a 'drowning' experience almost. Like you're being sucked into this world that just doesn't make any goddamn sense to you anymore. And you're trying to 'keep it cool', like everybody else. Trying to not 'freak out'. But at the same time you're also sort of 'frantically' looking for just someone who can make you feel like what you are going through is 'normal'. Someone who's like 'what's going on in the world is not normal'. Someone to reassure you that you're not crazy lol. Because yeah, what's going in the world is not 'normal'. But then it actually never has been. But we were too 'comfortable' to really do anything about it. So maybe we need our world to go absolutely crazy if it means we might start doing something. Maybe we need every little bit of 'normalcy' stripped away from us, so we might finally stand up.