This color has a signature of 'white noise'. And in a way of 'the lights are on but nobody's home'. As though there's no 'life'. No 'fireworks'. No experiences. You know like when a seed has that drive to push itself out of it's shell and through the earth to come out into the sunlight and express itself. With this color it's more like the seed is fine not expressing itself. It's fine not 'pushing'. It's 'neither here nor there'. It's almost like there's just 'nothing'. No 'will', no 'drive', no 'fight'. Kind of like a statue. As in something that doesn't necessarily 'want' anything for itself and isn't necessarily 'alive'. It just exists in the way that it has been given shape. Sort of just 'living out its programming'.

Like you're 'cemented in' so completely that you can't even conceive or consider things being in any way different. There is no part of you that questions its own existence. Like the shutters are pulled down over your being's eyes and you don't want to see that things are possible to be different, but that would require your effort. There is a 'comfort' within being who/what you are. An 'effortlessness' within not having to question anything and not having to 'chip away' at how you exist as that 'statue'. Like it's a decision that you've made, to step into the wet cement and be cemented in and as the mind, so that you don't have to make any effort. So that life could be 'easy'. So that everything would already be completely 'set in stone' for you, and you don't have to necessarily 'think' or figure it all out for yourself. Like the epitome of 'easiness'.

Of looking at what it would take to walk the process of stepping out of that 'mould', and going 'no thanks'. 'I choose what's easy over that challenge'. Sort of placing your trust in that which has always been 'set in stone'. In the 'certain'. In that which has always been part of this world and reality, that which has always been here. Rather than in the 'uncertain', as the possibility of in any way breaking out of that programming. Sort of believing that just because it's 'always been here', that therefore it's what's 'real' and it's what can be trusted. That, just because it's been 'set in stone' that therefore it must be as 'real' and 'solid' and 'absolute' as it's always seemed to be. Like thinking, oh it's cement so it cannot be changed.

When actually, it's more the 'appearance' of cement. As in, the mind has this interesting programming where it makes itself appear as though 'it's always been here' and as if it's 'set in stone' and therefore 'cannot be changed' and 'shouldn't be questioned'. It creates the feeling of 'comfort', to make you feel like it's fine not to question the mind. Because really, the mind isn't actually 'real'. All that it has is 'programming'. Programming of 'feelings' that create the 'illusion' that certain ways of perceiving reality are 'real'. And it's only once you start questioning and 'chipping away' at it, that you start realizing it was all an illusion. And that what you've been placing your trust on was about as real as a 'thought'. And that all that's 'real' is 'you'. There is no cement encasing you. Nothing is really 'set in stone'. And 'change' is not actually as difficult or impossible as it may have seemed.

Because at the end of the day, your 'power of creation' is so great that you can make yourself believe that you are 'cemented in'. And that any of this is real. That you've 'engraved yourself in stone'. But it's just about as real as you choose to believe it is. Cause yes, it feels 'easier' to believe that 'there's no way out' and to trust in something 'outside of yourself'. But then this choice to take the easy way isn't who you really are. It's also just a programming.

This is the color of 'understanding'. Of not being concerned or worried because you know that 'everything is here'. You don't need to 'chase' anything or try for anything cause whatever you're looking for is already here. It's actually very similar to the grey 'cement' color in that there's not much 'movement' going on. It's a very 'solid' and 'settled' kind of color. Of knowing that 'I don't have to walk any process because everything is already here'. That at the end of the day, whatever you do, it will all just come back to 'here'. So if you do 'walk a process', it's not like you're going to 'go anywhere'. You're just going to also be 'here'. So it's an understanding of what matters at the end of the day.

It's almost like you're already at the end of the journey, so it doesn't seem to make sense to still 'walk a process'. You know that you pretty much just need to breathe and relax, that you don't need to do anything and it will all come to you. That you can have access to everything, just by realizing that you are 'here'. And that in fact, the more you 'try', the further you're actually moving away from what is 'here'. The secret is in 'not moving', and being 'still'. And not 'pushing' or 'attempting', but in making yourself very still so that everything that is here can just 'come up'.

There is an 'abundance' here, and you just need to let go of the belief that you need to 'do more', or do anything really. Just allow it to be here. So in a way you've 'hacked' process, or found a 'short-cut'. As you've realized that the secret to movement is 'non-movement'. The secret to realizing anything, is to stop looking for it. It's the secret to anything. Just make yourself really still. Just stop everything within yourself, and what is here will reveal itself. And you don't have to do anything.

It's like, what is here wants to show itself to you, but you need to stop everything inside yourself to be able to see it. No effort required. Just let life flow through you and trust that it's all already here. That you already know all there is to know and that you are already where you need to be. You are here, as everything is here. It's pretty much the opposite  of how the mind tends to exist. For the mind, everything has to be a struggle and a 'process'. Everything has to be 'difficult', or 'impossible'. You're already 'complete'. You're already 'done' with whatever you were doing.

This is your beingness color Kirill. Who you are and what you know and live on a beingness level. It's quite profound, and perhaps also why at the same time the mind has 'cemented' itself within you, or rather has created that programming. To stop and sabotage this profound beingness expression. So that, even though your process would be so easy, it would create the illusion that everything is so difficult.

This is a very 'happy' color. 'Elated' and 'ecstatic' almost. A 'seeking of happiness', as though it's a purpose in life. To in a way 'think only happy thoughts' and see everything only on the bright side. Because you feel it's what 'grounds' you into reality. It's what makes you feel like you are 'you'. It's sort of a 'desperate' pursuit of trying to catch those little sun-rays to make your life a little brighter. Cause you feel you can always be a little happier. Always a bit more. Until the 'vat' of 'happiness' inside of you is finally filled up.

In a way you think, 'what other purpose in life is there, than to chase that happiness?' Joy feels like it's the only thing in life that makes any sense. It's everything that you're living for. To be able to feel joy. There's just nothing else. Cause you don't want to see anything else. Cause anything else would be 'darkness'. And you don't want to go into the darkness, because it scares you. So you'd rather just stay happy. And that's all that you're willing to consider.

There's a safety, a security and a reassurance to it. And that's really what you're looking for. The safety of the feeling of happiness. Cause you actually feel quite 'delicate' and 'sensitive' inside. Like you couldn't handle things very well, and life is easily overwhelming, and you need to feel 'safe' from all the things you believe you wouldn't be able to handle. Which you feel is a lot. So in order to 'protect' yourself you must always feel filled to the brim with happiness.

So in a sense, this type of happiness isn't necessarily real 'happiness', because it's something you feel you 'have to' do. You do it out of 'necessity'. So in a way it's more like a chore, or a habit, than a genuine self-expression. There’s even a sense of sadness or heaviness behind it, from knowing that this isn’t really ‘you’. And from feeling ‘stuck’ in the belief that you kind of ‘have to’ go into this ‘happiness’.

In a way the happiness that you are really looking for, is just a sense of ‘contentment’. Of being ‘at peace’ and being ‘settled’. Not this ‘over-the-top’, super-bright, excitable kind of energy experience. But more just to be able to just be ‘here’, and relax. And to be able to trust yourself and know that no matter what, you’ll be able to handle it. You want to be able to ‘let go’ and know that you don’t need anything to feel safe. And basically just be happy with yourself. You want the kind of happiness that exists within knowing that there is no part of yourself that’s too difficult for you to handle. And that you are ‘here’, with both your feet in reality. Knowing that you are REAL. And that you are dealing directly with reality as it is. That you are not too delicate or sensitive for anything and you’re ‘willing and able’ to do or face whatever needs to be done or faced.

So within that, joy becomes something that you don’t ‘look for’ outside of yourself, but something that you more create inside of yourself, through, if anything, facing the ‘darkness’ and proving to yourself that you can trust yourself and that you are ‘here’ with yourself. And that all you need is you.